The Gottman Method

The Gottman Method is a Couples Therapy approach that includes a thorough assessment of your relationship and integrates interventions based on 40 years of research that shows us

what actually works to help partners

increase connection, communication and intimacy.

The therapy is broken down into three phases:

 

Phase 1 - Assessment

 

The assessment phase involves 4 sessions:

Session 1: During the first session, I will meet with both partners to gather a history of the relationship and provide a basic introduction to Gottman Method Couples Therapy.

Following the first session, both partners are asked to complete an online assessment called the “Relationship Checkup” that measures various aspects of the relationship. The assessment will be analyzed and integrated into the treatment plan. 

Sessions 2 & 3: I will meet with each partner individually to gather your personal histories and explore your hopes and concerns about the therapy process. 

 

Session 4: I will meet with both partners to discuss the results of the “Relationship Checkup” and my observations. Together we will discuss treatment goals and develop a plan. In addition, I will offer exercises for you both to do at home together.

Phase 2 - Therapy

 

Once the assessment is complete, most couples return for weekly intervention sessions. The frequency and duration of therapy sessions can be adjusted depending on your availability and goals for therapy. 

Therapy sessions are structured, solution-focused, and skills-based. You are provided with resources and guided through positive exercises and difficult conversations designed to help you grow closer and feel understood. Many couples feel their connection increase during sessions and while doing exercises between appointments.

Phase 3 - Graduation

 

As you get closer to meeting your goals and increasing connection and intimacy, you are able to decrease frequency even as you maintain your progress.

 

Graduation comes when you are able to enjoy connectedness and intimacy in your everyday lives, returning for “refresher sessions” several times a year or when new issues arise.

Throughout our treatment together I will help you:

  • Build Love Maps: Focus on your friendship and how well you feel seen and known by each other

  • Share Fondness and Admiration: Identify and express feelings of appreciation and gratitude for each other’s qualities and gifts

  • Turn Towards: Tune in each day to each other’s bids for connection, large and small, deepening those feelings of closeness. 

  • The Positive Perspective: Give each other the benefit of the doubt when presented with a challenge.

  • Manage Conflict:  Communicate with respect and seek understanding when confronted with areas of disagreement. 

  • Make Life Dreams Come True: Honor and support each other’s hopes and dreams, which leads to individual fulfillment. 

  • Create Shared Meaning: Build and sustain traditions, roles, values and symbols together that make life meaningful.